You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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