just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
