we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
