This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
