I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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