I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So vagazzling was a success
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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