I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
