Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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