i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
