I hate all girls vehemently.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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