i need an iv and a liver transplant
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
