Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
