He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
