I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
