So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
