Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
