So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
