We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
