I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
