Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
