happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
