I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
