I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
