The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
