That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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