dude i'm inner monologue high
im about as happy as oj after his trial
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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