Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
