I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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