And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
