I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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