Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
