i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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