i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
