You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
