If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
