remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
