# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
