party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
