To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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