I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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