Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
