I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
