I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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