I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
