btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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