So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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