i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
