Barsexuality is the new black.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
