I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
