She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
