I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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