They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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