judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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