You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
